Dance, Rise

This morning, in my bed, I felt completely safe and loved.  I thought: this is the ultimate privilege, to be safe and adored and deeply connected to someone who loves me, someone I love.

Last night, inspired by a friend's invitation to today's One Billion Rising event in my town, I watched some of the videos, and listened to the anthem, Break the Chain.  I watched the short film that has been available for the last half a year, and I watched the one that was made for Indonesia.  In the films, there are images of women experiencing violence.  These are dramatizations of actual horrifying events that happen to real people, mostly to women and children, every day.  They are not even as long or as graphic as the the same events we see dramatized in movies (for our entertainment, ugh!), but they are more difficult to watch. The film then goes on to show us these same women, opening their eyes and rising.  Rising out of these miserable events and Getting Out, and dancing.  Yes, dancing.

This is a world-wide event, organized to connect people everywhere in an effort to raise the level of effort being directed at ending violence against women. People all over the world have organized a dance.  A global flash mob.   

I am 51 years old, and there is a well-honed cynical portion of my mind that sees the website and the thirty-second celebrity videos and the t-shirts and the dance videos and the Concept and says:  

What Good Will It Do?

In my life, I have been raped, harassed, pimped, abandoned pregnant, neglected, exploited in the workplace, and ridiculed because I am female. The horror in that statement comes from the fact that my life has been pretty average.

Most of that is not happening for me anymore... I have risen. I rose out of oppression with the help and love of many people who decided to create safety and love for people in their lives. I used to spend a lot of energy working to end sexism and empower women. But lately, I haven't had the same sense of urgency.

this is my body

my body's holy

I am a feminist.  I minored in Women Studies.  I marched in Take Back the Night marches. I have stood up and spoken out.  I have taken risks.  But I have become lazy and cynical and invested in my own comfort.  I do everything I can to make my life comfortable.  And then I throw some leftover crumbs to "people in need" in the form of an occasional check to a non-profit organization. That is what I do to work towards the elimination of oppression these days.

Well, not really.  I also work very hard to raise my children to recognize oppressions and to be allies to the oppressed and to just generally be loving and kind.  I work very hard to change myself into the kind of person I want them to be, knowing that they will learn what I do much more deeply than they learn what I say to them. So, yes, I do put some real effort into changing this world. On the home front.

Meanwhile, women and children all over this world are being raped and beaten and living in slavery.

Meanwhile, women and children all over this world - in MY community, in MY town, here in my "free" country - are being treated like possessions, like things.

One in three women is raped in her lifetime.

Even during those amazing moments

when I am fully aware 

of how precious and rare 

is my experience 

of real safety and love.

But here's the thing: 

IT IS NOT A PRIVILEGE.

SAFETY AND LOVE 

are BIRTHRIGHTS 

of every human being.

Every person is inherently entitled to be safe, to love, and to be loved.

This is my most deeply held belief.  This is the bottom line underneath every statement of belief I have ever spoken.

So, today, at 5:30, I will meet the people in Morgantown who are rising and dancing to end violence against women.  I will be dancing for SAFETY.  I will be dancing for LOVE.

And if the only thing that comes out of this day of women and men and children attempting to bring awareness to their communities that the chains must be broken is that a significant number of young women take this song to heart... then I have hope that someday we will live in a world where every one experiences real safety, and real love.

I will be teaching my children this song.




Break the Chain  by Tena Clark
Music by Tena Clark/Tim Heintz

Intro- I raise my arms to the sky
On my knees I pray
I’m not afraid anymore
I will walk through that door
Walk, dance, rise
Walk, dance, rise

I can see a world where we all live
Safe and free from all oppression
No more rape or incest, or abuse
Women are not a possession

You’ve never owned me, don’t even know me I’m not invisible, I’m simply wonderful I feel my heart for the first time racing I feel alive, I feel so amazing

I dance cause I love
Dance cause I dream
Dance cause I’ve had enough
Dance to stop the screams
Dance to break the rules
Dance to stop the pain
Dance to turn it upside down
Its time to break the chain, oh yeah
Break the Chain
Dance, rise
Dance, rise

In the middle of this madness, we will stand I know there is a better world Take your sisters & your brothers by the hand Reach out to every woman & girl

This is my body, my body’s holy
No more excuses, no more abuses
We are mothers, we are teachers,
We are beautiful, beautiful creatures
I dance cause I love
Dance cause I dream
Dance cause I’ve had enough
Dance to stop the screams
Dance to break the rules
Dance to stop the pain
Dance to turn it upside down
It’s time to break the chain, oh yeah
Break the Chain, oh yeah
Break the Chain

Dance Break Inst.

Dance, rise
Dance, rise

Sister won’t you help me, sister won’t you rise x4

Dance, rise
Dance, rise

Sister won’t you help me, sister won’t you rise x4

This is my body, my body’s holy
No more excuses, no more abuses
We are mothers, we are teachers,
We are beautiful, beautiful creatures

I dance cause I love
Dance cause I dream
Dance cause I’ve had enough
Dance to stop the screams
Dance to break the rules
Dance to stop the pain
Dance to turn it upside down
Its time to break the chain, oh yeah
Break the Chain, oh yeah
Break the Chain
(Repeat chorus)

Here is the One Billion Rising website, where you can see what is happening all over the world today.
Here is the short film which gives me a sense that I am connected to every woman in this world, and we can rise together.

Here is the message from the United Nations Office of the General Secretary.

“If I can't dance - I don't want to be part of your revolution.”

Emma Goldman

How to Change the World

It's easier to be overcome with compassion fatigue if you're paying any attention at all to world news. Or rather, 'misery-at-realizing-the-ineffectiveness-of-our-range-of-responses fatigue.'  (Seriously, if you ever feel overwhelmed with the state of the world, take some time to read the article at the other end of that link.)  Even if you limit your intake to national news, there are a whole lot of problems out there to which you could apply the small amounts of time and money you are able to devote to helping.  It's hard to imagine that anything you might be able to do as an individual could have a real effect on improving conditions in a asignificant way even if you could pick just one issue on which to focus your aid.  Even doing something really big, like adopting three kids, can seem like a drop in the bucket when you look at the big picture, like millions of orphans worldwide.

So, I'd like to share my strategy for dealing with helplessness fatigue. 

Step 1. Create your Life Guidelines.  Your personal mission statement. Your bottom line.  Whatever you want to call it.  Keep it simple.  One to three short statements that sum up why you are here on this earth.   Your life guidelines may change over time.  You don't have to capture your purpose perfectly.  Spend no more than half an hour crafting your statements.  Distill all your ideas down into a simple statement, or paragraph if you must, and try it on for a while.  You can always revisit it later and change it. 

For a long time, my bottom line was simply the verse Micah 6:8 (my post-colonialist inclusive adaptation of NRSV) : "God has told you, O Mortal, what is good and what Love requires of you: but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God." Here's my latest, created on my drive to work yesterday in a matter of five minutes. 

Step 2.  Decide how much time and money you have to use to make the world better.  There are lots of ways you can come up with a number for these two factors (see bonus activity below).  And it is okay if the time factor is two hours and the money factor is zero. Or if the time factor is zero and the money factor is $10 a month.   It really depends on your circumstances.  You have something to give.  This is what matters.  Don't let your belief that you are not enough or you don't have enough kill your intention to help.  You can help.  You can. 

Don't allow yourself to beat you up for making the decisions that brought to this place.  Don't put yourself down for not having enough to give. You have enough.  You are enough.  Don't worry... as you intentionally devote your time and money to helping, you empower yourself to figure out ways to give more.  It's a human thing: we want to help.  We are a social species; it is our destiny to give and receive, to be connected to other human beings in a meaningful way.

Step 3. Pick one cause, or one organization, or one person. Pick one way to help.  Follow your heart.  What makes your heart break most?  What brings actual tears to your eyes? 

Do some research to find one local or national or international organization that is effectively doing something to solve the one problem that breaks your heart most.  Then give what you can to that cause.  It's good to have a way to give of your time, not just your money, so you might want to find a local organization that works on the same issue, or that contributes to the organization you chose.  If you can't find one, create one.  Invite your friends over for tea once a month to work together on finding ways to help the organization.  You could all collect your loose change over the month, then come together to count it and write out a check to send.  You could write letters to the editor (maye not like this one) or to congress.  You could make a poster.  You could make a webpage.

Step 4. Remember.  Remember you are one person, and your first priority is to be a healthy human being living a good life.  Remember the reason your heart breaks for your one cause is because you know the people affected by that problem deserve to be healthy. They deserve to live a good life.  So if you are giving up your healthy, good life, you're not really doing them any good.  That doesn't mean you get to live in oppulent luxury and wastefulness.  You know what you need.  You know how little and simple the things are that truly make your dreams come true.  So be honest.  Give what you can honestly give, and let that be part of your good, healthy life.

Post a picture that represents the people or creatures you are helping on your fridge. Carry one around in your pocket. Whenever you are feeling helpless, just pull it out and look at it and remind yourself you are helping. And if you can, help a little more. 

Step 5.  Show and tell.  This is really how you change the world.  Because if every human being takes these steps, if every human being would consciously give what they can out of an honest assessment of the privilege they possess, then you would see huge changes.  You would start to see real equality and real justice.

My college roommate did something I had never seen.  She washed out her food storage plastic bags and resued them.  At the time, I really didn't get it.  I didn't think it was saving much money, and surely, those tiny things didn't add up to much in the landfill.  Why bother.  She never said anything to me about how I should do that, too.  She just did it.  Years later, when I became more aware of the problem of plastic waste, I started washing out my plastic bags and reusing them. And my daughter reuses her plastic bag. Tamara Gorden changed the world.  Her small act of helping multiplied.  I didn't become an Environmental Engineer like she did. I'm sure she's done even bigger things for this earth since I knew her 29 years ago.  But she inspired me to do what I could, to know more, and to do more.

Don't just be the change you want to see in the world, LEAD the change.  Talk to a friend about the issue and ask your friend what breaks her heart. You can help in so many ways that cost very little time and very little money.  Every little thing you can do to help counts.  The way you live your life counts.  Saying kind words to a lonely stranger on the street might affect that person's world in a way you will never know.  Carrying those plates with you to potlucks and work lunches instead of using the paper products provided is keeping one tiny drop of waste out of the waste stream.  But how many people will see you do that?  What if just one percent of them follow your lead?  How many people will see them keeping their tiny drops out of the bucket?  What if five percent of them start doing the same?  And when people comment on your plates, you can have one of your handy dandy statistics ready.  Or, you can just say how easy it is to carry them and wash them rather than using throwaways.  Just calling paper plates throwaways will put a tiny dent in out single-use consumer cultural assumptions.

Here's a little Michael Franti song to spur you on.  Is your love enough?



Bonus activity for those who like to paint the world by numbers

If you would like a way to come up with a goal for your numbers that are fair based on statistics, try this.

Calcuate your annual income per person for your household. Compare it to the average annual income for the globe.  $1,225 per year per person in the household.  So, for my household, to be globally average, we would have to live on $7,350 annually.  Wow, what would that take?

Okay, well, we can't really do anything practical with that, unless you are in a position to sell everything and live like Jesus did.  No, wait.  I could use that number to give meaning to my giving.  I could make it my goal to spend that much each year on helping. I mean, wouldn't that give me a good handle on just how priveleged I am?  To be able to support my own family, plus support another globally average family?  Or I could make my goal half that.  Whatever I can make fit my life without becoming unhealthy or going into debt.

Or, let's just say we want to get out of that elite group: The 1% richest people on the planet.  For my family, that would mean $204,000.  Okay, well we are not in the 1%.  And not many of my friends are, either, as far as I know.  But, before we adopted three kids, that would have been $102,000.  So, we were pretty darn close to being in the Elite group, the most priveleged people in the world.  See, you can decrease your income by giving money to effective groups or you can decrease your income by adding people to you family!

But, the numbers don't really matter that much beyond bringing you awareness of the privelege you enjoy. For me, that awareness decreases the energy I put into feeling jealous and resentful and complaining about what I don't have or what I "can't" afford.  All that energy can go into reducing waste and increasing generosity.  It totally takes the fun out of "shopping as entertainment." 

Your Work ≠ Your Job Description

This morning as I drove my daughter to school, we were talking about her work schedule.  She is working at Panera for some teenage cash flow.  She often works until close, which means she gets to clean the bathrooms at the end of the day.  I said, "You're going to get really good at cleaning bathrooms." She shrugged.

I told her about my days working on a nuclear power plant construction site.  About 5000 people worked there (only about 100 were women).  I was 20 years old, taking a break from college to earn more money for college tuition.  I was an Engineer's Aid.  I accompanied the Pipefitter Apprentice to the field in order to watch a Pipefitter tighten the bolts on pipe hangers.  As part of the engineering staff, I was not allowed to carry the torque wrench, which is why we needed the Pipefitter Apprentice.  I had to sign off on the fact that the hanger bolts were tightened properly.  There are lots of rules on a nuclear power plant construction site. I also looked up valve vendor information the engineers needed for their drawings and did other small jobs for the small pipe engineers.

My desk was in a big metal building on the other side of the road that wound around the giant plant.  On the side of that road closer to the building was a long row of portapots.  Every day, there was a man who drove around cleaning out the portapots.  He had the big truck with the large vacuum hose.  Every day, when he parked that truck outside our building, and cleaned out those pots, he sang.  He sang loud.  Really loud.  He sang so loud we could hear him inside our building, over the sound of the truck sucking the crap out of the pots.  He sang hymns with great joy.  He did this every day, without fail.  He was the most joyful person I had ever encountered in my young life. 

I wish I knew his name.  I think I waved to him and smiled once in a while as I walked out to the field to check on bolts or find some info on valves.  Eventually I was given more important jobs like making "as-built" changes to drawings of pipe after it had been installed and inspecting the welds on the hangers.  I was able to save most of my earnings because my parents supported me by letting me live with them and feeding me while I saved for college. (My dad worked at the plant, too, and helped me get my job there.)  I worked there for a year, and then made my way back to school.  I don't know what happened to the man who sang while he cleaned the portapots.  But, I wish I could tell him that his expression of joy has been with me all my life.  I remember him every time I have a yucky job to do and I want to complain.  And I start smiling.  And singing.

So, if anyone out there knows a sanitation worker who worked at Limerick in Pennsylvainia in 1981-1982, let him know that he did important work.  He made a difference in this world.  Tell him that I am deeply grateful for his gift to me.

Here is one of my favorite hymns to celebrate this man today.

Day six: a photo of someone you love

Someone I love: God in us.
God as in God=Love, God=Peace, God=Joy
The One
The Divine in Each One of Us
That drive for justice that rises up from deep in the core of each of us.
That place in each of our souls that creates
music out of suffering,
art out of hunger,
dance out of nothing,
song out of Hope.

I have been wondering what discipline to practice for Lent. I have a long list of changes I'd like to make. More walking, less junk food, more meditation, less complaining, more breathing. But nothing felt like the commitment I need to make right now. None of my wishes for a better me would have any real effect on the world except that a better me makes a better world in a tiny way.

Someone sent me a link to Stand by Me this morning, recorded by Playing for Change Foundation. I had seen it before. It is my favorite version of that song. This foundation uses the universal language of music and great recording technology to bring people together and to create positive change in the world. So, I decided that each day of Lent this year, I will be giving up something I would spend money on that day, and collecting that money in an envelope to send to this Foundation. Today, it will be the latte that I usually bring back to work when I go out to lunch.

So, today's picture is this video. I love all these people. Especially the dancing children, the little girl in the pink dress, and the little one with hands folded in prayer. I love Tamika in NYC whose voice is the most beautiful voice I have ever heard. And I love the talented hands and ears and hearts behind the scenes, collecting all this video, and splicing it together in layers to make such a beautiful collaborative piece of magical song as if it is the richest treasure in all the earth.



You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

...

Day four: a photo of a place you'd like to visit

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut. Not because I wanted to step on the moon, but because I wanted to see earth from out there.

But now, that trip breaks my Rule of Reasonable Carbon Footprint for Sustainable Travel. I really think we should invest our money and fuel and intelligence on reducing our use of limited resources, and teaching people how to live responsibly and sustainably.

So, when I go here:



I would like to be there for at least four weeks to really experience this place, the land of many of my ancestors. I don't want to spend all that jet fuel on the experience of running from here to there to there trying to pack each day with all the sights you just can't miss when you go to Ireland. I want to Be There. I want to know the place and the people, and to do something that honors the green, poetic, dancing, singing parts of my soul that were somehow knit into my DNA long, long ago.

day 2

I know... day 1 was so long ago. It took me that long to organize all my pictures. Not really. I gave up.

So here is day 2, because I'm nothing if I'm not tenacious. A photo of myself at least a year ago.



April 2009. Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Where people are more important than things. More important than productivity. More important than clocks. More important than property. Where people look into your eyes and ask you how you are and actually want to know. Where children are welcome. And hugged. Because people love them. Because they are little people.

I've learned many things in two years. But when I stop and think about my responsibility to Ethiopia for the gift of my second batch of three children, it is not only about cherishing them, but also about cherishing all people.

I had thought I already did. I was not even close.

A month of photos, day 1

Me.



This is the most recent picture I have of me. I don't have many of me, because I am usually the one taking the pictures.

I'm sitting in my dining room. I painted the walls "Fresh Pear" in October when Laird was away for three weeks. It was bold; could have turned out to be really too much. I was sick of my dining room having too much clutter and all the walls were white and dirty except for the one behind me in this picture, which was three layers of wall paper all scuffed up and torn and dirty and depressing. It also had a bulletin board on it with all kinds of papers getting old and useless and cluttered, which always ended up in the background of pictures. So, I moved everything out of the dining room and started wiping and scrapping all the walls. I picked Fresh Pear for the walls, and Avocado or Forest something for the four pieces of wooden furniture that hadn't been painted since anywhere from when I was a child to when I first bought the straggler thing at a yard sale. Of course, I had to set up a bookshelf and a new shelf for the media in the living room so I could organize all the things I took out of the dining room. And I had to single-handedly get to work, get four kids to school, feed everyone, and do all the schlepping, every day for three weeks with the dining room in complete chaos. And the living room, too, since that was full of the furniture that belongs in the dining room. But, I now enjoy the room. Which is essential, since most of the time I am at home, I am in this room or the one next to it... the kitchen. Fresh Pear is oh so pleasant. And, now, on what was the ugliest wall... are my two pieces of artwork done by Tegan and Jordan.

I just tried to use my computer's camera to take a picture of the two pieces, but I can't figure it out. Sigh.

Anyway, this is me. I'm almost 50. I am still pretty much the same person as I was when I was around 15, except greyer and more educated. I like to sit on the edge of my bed and just let my mind wander. I like to sit high on the limb of a tree. I like music and wind and playing with words. I like science and the brain and God and fresh air. I like to get on my bike and ride to my friend's house and talk about everything in the world. I like kissing my sweetheart. A lot. And I like eating brownies. A lot.

I think it might be time to freshen up another room in this little bungalow. Maybe the kitchen...

The Next Generation

Gives me Hope!




My daughter, Tegan, is raising funds for her semester abroad in Costa Rica.

My nephew, Jake, is raising funds to launch his company which creates game applications for mobile phones that encourage recycling and teach users about environmental issues.

I Believe In Radical Collaboration

“I am convinced that in order to move forward, we must say openly the things we hold in our hearts, and that too often are said only behind closed doors,” the president said then. “There must be a sustained effort to listen to each other, to learn from each other, to respect one another, to seek common ground.”

Congratulations, President Obama, on winning the Nobel Peace Prize. There are people the world over who recognize that your commitment, vision, and words towards creating a global political climate in which people can really listen to each other IS a HUGE contribution to world peace.

Without hope, there is no peace.



I've just started reading the book, Radical Collaboration, by Jim Tamm and Ron Luyet. Check out some articles to get a taste of it:
Five skills
Know Your Zone

Just the first chapter inspired me and has already helped me at work.

President Obama operates in the Green Zone. And to have a world leader actively operating in the Green Zone?!?!!! That is worth a prestigious prize.

GObama!!!!

Check it off

My niece wrote about being addicted to to-do lists. We are related. There is something about lists in our genes.

I am also a to-do addict. A do-do-do addict for short. I used to have three calendars. Just for personal stuff. Ridiculous.

Work is work. Of course I have a calendar there, and a post-it note list of what I am working on. Not too hard to keep track of. I am blessed with a job I don’t have to take home with me.

For home… which includes six kids, my husband who is Mister Present Moment, two dogs, one cat, church, singing, friends, the house, the yard, the car, and the bills – well, things are a bit more complex. Still, at 48, I have given up on keeping meticulous track of EVERYthing. I figure it is like theater and the show will go on - it must! - even if I’m not ready. Besides, priorities are always changing. Sick happens. And flooded basements. And a kid crying over his haircut. Yes, last weekend’s list was completely obliterated for the sake of ridding the house and its inhabitants of lice and their possible offspring.

So, now, I have one little calendar that fits in my little purse. Its cover is moleskin just because it makes me happy. It is 3.5" x 5.5" and each page is a week, with individual days on one side and just lines for notes on the other side. Not much space to let me cram in things I really don't have the time for. It keeps me honest. It helps me say no. My little moleskin book also sports a ribbon to mark where I am, and an attached elastic band to mark another place or just to keep it closed. I put all my appointments and the kids’ appointments and even Laird's important appointments in there, because he is not good with dates and reminding him of some big things is just one of the things I do for him because I love him. I write my to-do lists on the notes side, with phone numbers. Sometimes I have to go back through to find things. It's okay. If I can't fit things in my little calendar book, I give up on them and figure there is no real need. When I get them done, I cross them out, even if I have to go back eight pages to do so.

On the weekend, I make a paper list of things to do over the weekend and sit it on the table just in case other people in the house want to help get things done. I keep adding to the list as I go. It doesn't all get done, ever. I throw it out on Sunday night anyway. It’s life. Things don’t get done. So what. The really important things get done even if they aren’t on the list.

Sometimes, when I really want a sense of accomplishment, I just get out a blank piece of paper and do it backwards. I only write down what I have done right after I do it. Everything. Nap. Wash dishes. Anything I could remotely be proud of accomplishing. At the end of the day, I look at the list and smile.

Some weekends, I go hog wild and just do whatever I want without any list at all! It’s fun!!! I just get up, make breakfast, then look around for something to do. Oh, there is a basket of laundry. I will fold it. Now what? Make a cup of coffee, yippee! Now what? Call mom. Yeah! Now what? Go for a bike ride. Great idea! Those weekends are the very best days of all.

Three beautiful hours of sleep

We're leaving in two hours.

I am not ready.

I have everything I need. Good traveling companions. Open heart. Arms waiting to hug me.

It's the paradox of life on earth - not ready, and yet, able. Amazing adaptable human beings.

It's the biggest love journey I have ever been given. Everything I've ever experienced has prepared me for this. This one journey.

I am breathing. I am being. I am shining light. I am love in motion.

Peace, peace, peace.

In memory

Haregewoin Teferra

Here is her story.

But, if you really want to be inspired to live your best life, read There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene. This book will teach you the history of Ethiopia, the history of HIV/AIDS, but best of all, the story of this gracious woman who thought all was lost when her daughter died, but then went on to love and provide for many, many orphaned children.

This is a great loss. I trust she is now dancing in Heaven with her beloved daughter.

Beauty

Note: scroll down and pause the playlist before you press play on the video.

Happy mother's day, a few months early

There's a baby in my house, and her wonderful big brother who is almost three. They are delightful. Their energy is priming the pump for our coming venture in parenting. I am secretly hoping that sweet Liam will let me hold him on my lap and read him a story. Or three. Seven stories, I'd be happy to read him seven stories.

I am so grateful to be a mom and to have a wonderful mom. If you want to be a mom or a dad, you can be one, somehow. There are many ways to become one of the most important people in a child's life. It is the most growing thing, the hardest thing, the most rewarding thing, and the most beautiful thing I have ever done to be a mom to my kids, and to share my mommy love with others of all ages.




Thanks to Rocio in Spain for sharing this link. It's so much fun to meet adoptive parents from all over the world via the internet!

Before you click play on the video, scroll down to the playlist and click on pause so you can hear the music in the video without simultanesously hearing the music on my bloggy radio.

Nine and a half days until our court date.

What if the mightiest word is love?

We went to the Inaugural Ball at the WVU Alumni Center to dance with a great crowd of people celebrating a new day in America, a new day for the world. When I woke the next morning, I had this thought: there are two kinds of Americans. There are the Americans who think this country is great because it is prosperous. And there are those who think America is great because people are free. (I guess you also have to count the ones who don't believe America is great, but I'm guessing they weren't at any of the Balls in this land on Tuesday.) The reason Obama's speech on Tuesday was so compelling is because he was speaking for all the Americans who define greatness by the freedom to be who we are, to work with integrity, to build and to give according to our abilities, and he is wise enough to know that with great freedom comes great responsibility. The responsibility to love one another. To love one another enough to tolerate their freedom to be who they are. To love one another enough to help those who are in need. To love one another enough to cry while smiling at your great moment of accomplishment, on the eve of your taking on the hardest work you have ever done. To love one another enough to know that prosperity is not the only, or even the best, measure of greatness.




Here is my favorite part of President Obama's Inaugural speech.

"Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

"This is the price and the promise of citizenship."
-President Barack Hussein Obama

And here is a link to the beautiful poem by Elizabeth Alexander, Praise Song for the Day.

Praise song for struggle;
praise song for the day.
Praise song for every hand-lettered sign,
the figuring it out at kitchen tables.

Oh, what a beautiful morning...

Maybe it is because I went to bed at 8 pm last night, it has been a Wonderful Morning after an exhausting week. I'm not sure why work was so tiring this week - we met our big deadline without a whole lot of stress and overtime - but I was so tired last night I fell asleep on the couch at 7 and went to bed at 8 after my wonderful husband finished the load of laundry I had put in that morning and made the bed.

So, this morning, after lounging in bed talking (one of the best things in the world!) we got up with ideas for a yummy breakfast. I made biscuits (from scratch - recipe courtesy my Nana's Joy of Cooking) while Laird made sausage and gravy. We had purchased a half a pig from a local farm friend of ours last month and we have a lot of happy pork in our freezer now. I squeezed some Florida oranges we had purchased to support University High to make juice, and Laird pulled out the little Espresso pot to see if we could figure it out. We have been without coffee for weeks because our French press fell off the counter and broke, so this morning, Laird was desperate for coffee. The little pot works and is really fast and the espresso was delicious! I made a latte; he had his straight. When the first pot was done in less than two minutes, he was surprised at the speed and I said, "That's why they call it espresso." He countered with "No, it is espresso because it is expressed from ground coffee." We like to argue about things when we really don't know the facts. So, after breakfast, we consulted The Oracle and found this link which told us that espresso is a cup of coffee made expressly for you.

Then, to top it all off, we cracked open the sweet potato butter my niece, Becky, made. I scored it at the Walker Family Christmas Party. That, on a warm home-made biscuit - OMG.

All Hail the Bialatti!

It is less than a week until our court date!!!! So, I am off to clean up the kitchen and attack my finances so I can apply for a refinance on my house to cover the travel expenses and be able to take off work for four to six weeks. Laird is using his new right-hand cordless drill to finish the fireplace project and then move on to installing the second bathroom. Did I mention it is less than a week until our court date? Ack!!!!! That means we could be leaving for Ethiopia in about five weeks..... if we pass court. Pray the electricity stays on in Addis on January 16th!

note to self

things to do more of: sing, sleep, salad, walk, water, encourage, adore, compliment, breathe, see, thank, let go

things to do less of: cheese, TV, complain, lecture, "actually", whelm, want, busybusy, drive

things to let go of: papers, stuff, knick-knacks, broken things, perfection, resentment, haf-tos, pillsbury

things to hold on to: kids, songs, poems, sunshine, snow, hope, honeypie, deliciousness, goofball, kisses, laughter, mind, heart, soul

Break In

Yes, I am trying to embrace my default status as a once-a-month blogger. I fantasize about daily pithy posts; for instance, I would have loved to give you a wonderful Happy Equinox and Happy International Peace Day bulletin full of inspiring words. Getting on my computer just didn't seem to be the way to honor such a day. And it would be fun to be writing about the Bible study I am doing called Hungry for Justice. It is a radical look at conversion, and I am being transformed. And the news for today, well I should have been shouting it all over the place last week.... but I have seriously entered into nesting mode because of it, and have been whirling through the house cleaning and getting rid of things we don't need and making plans for projects that will streamline the mundane and facilitate the fun of having three more kids in the house. I'm thinking and writing in run-on sentences because of all the energy I have towards this huge undertaking: Get This Home Ready. I tell you, freecycle is my new best friend.

YES! I said three kids. We have received and accepted our referral for three wonderful kids who live in Addis Ababa. Yes, we are crazy! Crazy in love with life! Crazy happy we get to become parents together! Crazy excited to be welcoming Blessings, Shining Light, and Breath into our home. Those are the meanings of their names. And there is a whole lot of all that shining out from their picture. They are 9, 9, and 8, all in third grade. They have been waiting for a family for two years. The same two years it has taken us to (1) mentally prepare to adopt and then (2) take the many steps to make the adoption happen. I'm sorry they had to wait this long for us to be ready to find them. And I'm sure it will take all of the next four or five months of waiting for our court date and travel date to get the house ready. Not to mention learn how to make injera and to braid hair. But, we are so glad the time is getting closer. We can't wait to get them home and head down to Positive Spin to get them bikes. Problem is, they'll be arriving here in the midst of winter, so we'll have to wait on the bikes. We hope to travel in February or March. We also hope we won't have to miss World Party 2009, but if we do, we think our guests will understand.

We've been learning a lot along this journey towards our kids, and one thing we have been learning about is HIV, because so many families in Ethiopia have been affected in some way by this virus. Along with poverty and war, it is a major reason there are so many children who need families in Ethiopia. Yet, there is such a stigma against people with HIV that people fear losing their jobs and homes if others find out they have the virus. About 6,000 children a day in this world lose a parent to HIV, because not everyone is able to get the medicine they need to manage the virus. And it can be managed! There is somewhat of a stigma here in the U.S., too, but things are getting better. Here, HIV+ people can get health care and medicine and are protected legally in many ways. I think it is really important for everyone in the world to understand HIV so I have added a gadget to the left with the basic info and a link to the CDC website. And, if you want to make a difference in the lives of children with HIV, so they can get medicine and education and create a happy life, here are some ways to help.

Lisa Qualls and her family offers beautiful AHOPE t-shirts to raise funds to support AHOPE for Children, a home and outreach service for HIV+ orphans in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

They are now also offering bracelets like the ones in this photo.


Or you can sign up to sponsor a child at AHOPE or simply send a donation directly to AHOPE here.

There is also a new organization whose mission is to help families adopt HIV+ children. They have a great website with some cool ideas for getting your whole family involved in helping a child come Home.

May you be at peace.
May you be at peace.
And may you be transformed!

"Change your hearts and mind, for the reign of heaven is about to break in on you." -Matthew 3:2

A Few Small Stones

This morning was one of those mornings where Grouchyme slowly inturded and took hold while Happyme was trying her hardest not to let her. It is my only day off this weekend and I made a list of things to do, as usual, but I kept it shorter than usual. This was victory number one.

First thing I needed to do was get my money in order. I got organized, had a bowl of cereal, and entered Quickenland. This was big mistake number one. Do not - I repeat - do not allow me to approach the Money Computer without eating a hearty breakfast. This is just a big invitation to the Grouch to come on in.

Next, I moved on to doing dishes, laundry, and taking the trash and recycling out all at once. I managed to keep myself from yelling and screaming at the world (e.g. the people I live with, which this morning happened to be Laird alone) for making all the messes. My husband did notice Grouchifiedme and took on the vacuuming. This was a very smart move.

It was then I had my big victory for the day: I decided to take care of myself. I have finally learned how to interpret my Grouch: she is telling me in her strange language to take care of me. I went for a walk to mail my checks. Thank you, patch of blue sky. Thank you, playful Zimmerdog for chasing sticks. Thank you, little stream of water making your easy way down the hill you have been carving out for so many years.

I took a nap. Thank you, wonderful bed. Thank you, blankie. I took a shower. Thank you, Sabine, for the sample of coconut shower gel. Now, Happy is coming in the door.

Cleaning out the fridge, I found some green beans. Thank you for not being fuzzy. And two apples that were still edible, though not crispy. I chopped them up and added cinnamon and sugar and baked them. I steamed the beans and put butter, salt and pepper on them. Oh, simple food. Thank you. Oh, thank you, God, for apples and green beans.

All better. Meanwhile, Laird is out on a bike ride, taking care of himself. He was so patient and playful and wise this morning. Thank you, Laird.

The other night, I went to Ash Wednesday service, and during the prayer, Pastor left spaces so we could join in. I haven't done that kind of praying for a long time. I felt shy. I listed some things, but as the prayer went on, there were just so many people and places to pray for, I felt so inadequate and couldn't say any more words aloud. I felt so small and vulnerable, but it felt really good, too. I think that was the Divine Presence. I think that's what opening up to the possibility of connection does: it opens a door to the place where God sits waiting to take you onto her lap.

Mary Oliver wrote it this way in a poem called Praying:

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

What this has to do with the struggle between Grouchyme and Happyme this morning is this: I took some time the other night to meet with my community and to sit in God's lap. So, this morning, I had the ability to keep my mouth shut instead of throwing blame around the room. I didn't really know what I was doing at the time, I just knew I didn't want to blame anyone else for my feeling grouchy. When I went outside to move my body, I found something to be thankful for. I found lots to be thankful for. I found the love I needed to listen to the Grouch and take care of her. She is me. She is me, after I give and give and give, at work and at home, and she just gets depleted. She just needs to replenish. I didn't know this until after the fact. I just needed to trust my intuition, and let Love lead me there.