Not Feeling It Anymore

We all know that money, don't buy you love
You just get a job and somewhere to live
You have to look for happiness, within yourself
And don't go chasin' thinkin' that it is somewhere else
-Van Morrison


Here's what I'm not feeling anymore:
my job
spending my life energy
supporting Coal
the burning of coal
the mining of coal
sure, we fund research that finds ways
to burn it cleaner
but seriously

I would GLADLY give up
half of the electricity I use
RIGHT NOW
in exchange for
the END of COAL Mining and COAL Burning

I would LOVE to need to light the candles
as the sun goes down
tell stories, make our own music,
or hey, Go To Bed
I would LOVE to be forced
to hang clothes and sheets and towels
out in the open air to dry
To Do with Less
to make soup on the wood stove
(of course, this would require that we have a wood stove we can cook on)
to be forced to repair that antique treadle sewing machine
in order to make coal-free clothes

I would love to do all of this
knowing
no more mountains were being destroyed
no more miners were being killed
no more lungs were suffering
for the energy that goes into my industry

But as long as I am expected
to Keep Up the Pace
I can't find enough time in each day
to do these things by choice

So... today... upon discovering this Van Morrison song
on a cd that I ordered
mistakenly
(I wanted disc two and accidently ordered disc 1)
playing it on my coal-fired stereo
while my coal-fired lights were burning
drinking my coal-fired coffee
I realized that I need to make the life I want
(yes, again)

here I am:
I will write the books that are waiting to be born
I will create the cool community science center

It will take me a few years
maybe ten
(not 200)
but I will leave coal behind

Laird is going to build us an off the grid house
it will have a tiny tiny house surrounded by trees
where I will write
encouraging words
and create events to help people
be scientifically literate
because that is what I do

and I swear
I will
make dresses
on that treadle machine

copyright Barbara L. Walker
Morgantown WV October 2010