First official step

Last week, we sent

our application to AAI

to adopt a waiting

sibling group from Ethiopia.

Family growing

I will learn your words
I will learn your world
I will rock you to sleep
feed you, clothe you, help you grow
laugh with you and sing with you

This is my commitment
This is my hope
I will find you
My children, I will cross the ocean

I started with desire
and the whole world
for thirty years I have believed in you
for two years I have read, gathered,
asked, talked it all through
I have considered every avenue

I believe in you

I will be your mama
My husband will be your daddy
He has desired
listened, considered, imagined
Together, we believe in you
We will fill out hundreds of papers
and sign our names to care for you
for life
for our lives

This is the simple reason we are searching
seeking, finding you,
coming to get you,
bringing you home:
We want you

Now, we know
you are in Ethiopia
Our journey is to you
When the leaves are green again
we will hold a picture of you
in our hands, hoping
and your names will be written
in our hearts.

We are already yours.

We will learn your words
We will learn your world
We will cross the ocean
We will rock you to sleep
singing the songs of Ethiopia.

Barbara L. Walker
copyright 2007

Introducing... my honey.

He's sweet. We found each other after a dance. A month after I had given up on men, then, at my friend Maggie's prompting, wrote a list of what exactly I wanted in a sweetheart. It was a very specific list. It was a pie in the sky list. A no limits list. It included the words: available, chemistry, communicates, dances, and poetry, among many others. In other words, for a 43-year-old woman with three kids and a strong will, it was an impossible list. Or so I thought before I threw it into the hands of the universe and said "If you can find me this, go for it. I'm not settling for anything less." Instead, I settled into fantasies of living single-mindedly for the rest of my life. I wasn't scared of the prospect. It was actually exciting. All that freedom to be me and do what I want and go where I like! For a month.

There I was, talking to my friend Kate after dancing to those Carpenter Ants. There he was, walking by after dancing to those same Ants. Stopping to thank Kate. She introduced us with a twinkle in her eye. We had a conversation, during which I noticed those incredible blue eyes. And unbeknownst to my conscious mind, those pheromones. We parted without exchanging numbers. But I could not forget those eyes. (I'm thinking this was mostly due to the pheromones working their mysterious magic.) I didn't even think about the list.

A month later, we had our first date. It was so perfect I didn't care if I ever had another date. Ever. We hiked through the woods thick with rhodies to a beautiful spot. We had a picnic surrounded by green on a rock just down stream from a waterfall. We talked and talked and talked. We hiked back out in a hurry to catch the band, friends of his. We danced (!) and talked with friends and laughed. We hugged good-bye, smiling. On the way home, I checked off everything on my list. Every. Thing. On. The. List. Except for the poetry. On our third date, I checked that off when he read a poem he wrote for me.

A year later, we married each other. Here is a slide show of that, with our friend, Tom, singing Give Yourself to Love by Kate Wolf.

My honey, Laird. He drinks it all up. He takes it all in. He's FUN. He's courageous. He's extremely hopeful. He's a man of integrity. He's a hard worker. He fixes things. He's game. He writes little notes to me. He tells me his dreams and worries and feelings and thoughts. Honestly. He gives. A lot. He encourages anyone who needs to be encouraged. He listens. He plays hard. He takes risks. He dances with me! He dreams big. He invents. He creates. He enjoys. He celebrates.

So now I am looking forward to sharing the rest of my life with Laird. Singing, dancing, reading poems, riding bikes, raising kids, having conversations, creating fun, and eating home-baked bread with honey dripping all over.

The bread is on to rise

So, I wanted the title of my blog to connect me somehow to Ethiopia. I searched all over for Amharic words and phrases that had something to do with me and my family. I couldn't find anything that fit. Then I tried to think up a good title. Came up blank.

I'm a poet, I should be good at this. But usually I am naming a composed work, not a blank page. And this... this is a huge book of blank pages waiting to document my family's journey into the great big scary adventure called The Future.

I wanted to emphasize my family, what's at the center of it. Because my words here will mostly be about my family life, as that is what my life is mostly about. I explored the memories of my life and happened upon a frequent scene when I was staying at home with my three kids, living out in the country, learning every day and growing up with them. One of my favorites. I baked bread each week, using my friend Susan's recipe. She was the person who introduced me to home schooling. She was my dear friend and confidante and fellow writer when I lived in Pullman. I had never baked bread. It seemed a daunting task. Everyone talked about how hard it was to do well. Susan always had a loaf of fresh-baked bread for us when we got together. She gave me the recipe. I followed it. It worked. Deliciously! So, after that, I started baking bread every week. And giving away one loaf to friends. But first, my kids and I would eat it right out of the oven. Smells so good! Butter melted on it and honey dripped off the edges. We ate and talked and laughed. The sweetness. The stickiness. That is family to me. You knead the bread, you share it, you get all caught up in the sweet and the sticky. You are warm. You are full. You are loved.

So, I named my skeleton of my blog "bread and honey." Thinking, maybe someday, I will change the name to something different, something that connects us to Ethiopia, where there are two or three children waiting for us to find them. I went looking for pictures to dress up these pages. Oh, Google, please find some bread and honey for me. One of the links took me to a page of Ethiopian recipes. Turns out Ethiopia is sometimes called the Land of Bread and Honey.

So, I guess I can trust my heart.

Just a minute....

Here I am... finally.

It's been on my to-do list for a long time.... Start a blog. And now, I've gotten through the first three steps and it's time to get down to the nitty gritty but it's also time to go pick up my daughter. Probably should have gone with the first name that came to mind: Just a Minute.

I'll be back. I'll fill in my profile and get some links up and tell you all about who I am and what I am doing here. In just a minute. Probably before you even discover me.

Have a wonderful day!